Special Report - Infant discovers secret to parental motivation

The National Institutes of Health reacted publicly today as news about the secret to parental motivation was allegedly leaked from the William Noel laboratory.

NIH spokesperson Ima Hoax said governmental scientists are baffled by a cryptic formula that arrived by messenger today. "Preliminary tests of the data indicate a potential breakthrough in the parental-infant communication barrier," said Hoax.

According to sources inside the NIH, the formula is reported to reveal significant meaning to various infant cries and yells. Previously thought to be incomprehensible gobblygook, the infantile "babble" is actually highly evolved patterns of communication

Infant researcher I. M. Loony, III said in a recent interview, "We've suspected for some time that the communication barrier between infants and adults rests more with adults than their newborns." Loony has headed a task-force of scientists charged with breaking the code. Until today, their work was popularly disregarded by mainstream scientists.

Last month, Loony and several of his team were reported to be missing. Coworkers closest to Loony speculate that he was hired by infant entrepreneur William Noel LaCombe (pictured above left). William Noel Laboratory officials were not available for comment. However, network reporters observed increased activity at the lab today.

Stay tuned to this station for additional reports as they become available.