They Went to Sedona And All I Got Was a Lousy T-Shirt

OK people - let's get something straight. Getting left behind stinks! Now I don't want to get off on a rant here...but people...what were you thinking?

Not since the first moments of my life when I was wisked away to the nursery have I witnessed such a wanton case of abandonment. OK, sure, you could argue that my parents needed some couple time, or that absence makes the heart grow fonder...but in the name of reason...did you have to leave me with my Uncle Noel?

Sorry Uncle Noel - nothing personal...I love you but the endless playing of Black Hawk down video games gave me a case of gas that you wouldn't believe.

You know, nowadays, babies just can't catch a break. I'm not even talking about the seemingly endless inability to control bodily functions. No, I'll spare you the details - I am far more concerned that my parents simply don't listen to me. What about my needs?

While you two are jetting off to find the "Center of the Universe," I'm in a virtual Mogadishu dodging bullets. I just want my bouncer and swing.

People - Let's think win-win. For the next trip, I propose a shift in parental policy. Wan't a clue? Bring your son!

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.